"The most important thing is that you and your baby are healthy"
When it comes down to it, this is a true statement. But it infuriates me.
Years ago, before my first babe was born, I attended the hospital's labor class. I like to call it the "what you will let us do to you" class. They show the "pain scale" with the screaming red faces (as in, this is how you WILL feel at the end) and the hospital gowns and catheters and all that great stuff that is necessary for childbirth. Even though I hadn't taken any other childbirth classes or studied any truth about birth, I was sitting in the back thinking "what a joke."
Anyway, I can't count how many times they repeated this line "The most important thing is that you and your baby are healthy." They would say this after a birth scenario would end up "needing" a c-section, or pitocin resulting in an epidural, or an episiotomy. Completely projecting these outcomes onto the couples in the class. But it was ok, because you and your baby are alive (miraculously!). I wanted to have an un-medicated birth, but they were doing everything they could to tell me that I wouldn't be able to, and that it was ok. *Disclaimer* I don't want it to be assumed that I look down on women who want an un-medicated birth and end up needing pain relief. I was that woman at one time. Or women who decide that the right path for them is to have an epidural right away, though I urge every woman to study the risks involved.
And so this is the problem that I have with the hospital telling women "the most important thing..." It has become their goal, and they try to make that the goal of the women who come to them. Therefore, anything they do to those women during labor and birth is completely justified in their minds, because at the end, they reach their goal.
Having a healthy baby and being healthy yourself is the absolute minimum you should get from your labor experience.
In my mind, labor was designed to be an experience. Not "The curse of Eve" or "So we wouldn't just have a million babies and not be able to care for all of them." It was designed to empower women. To make us feel limitless in our abilities. To free us from self doubt, or depression, or self loathing. To help us see our true potential. Labor and birth were designed to make us queens.
And these great experiences are not just for women who "are strong enough" or "have a high pain tolerance." It is for EVERY woman. Every women should plan on her labor and birth experience being transcendent.
But it has been stripped of all it's glory. It has been debased to "well, there's only one way out of this." It has become feared and avoided. And ultimately, others take advantage of that fear, telling women "it will all be ok, just let us...." And women let them, because they have let themselves become vulnerable and uneducated. I know this, because I used to be one of these women.
It makes me so sad to see women make decisions about labor and birth out of fear and ignorance. If it was common knowledge what birth really is and could be for everyone, the procedures at the hospital would not be allowed to stand. Even if just the physical process of labor and birth was common knowledge, the policies wouldn't be tolerated. We are made to birth babies, it is natural, and it is wonderful.
And, as with all discussions about normal birth, there are always exceptions. Sometimes there are situations where having a healthy baby and a healthy mommy are the best outcome you could hope for. And in those cases, the hospital has indeed saved lives, and we are lucky to have them. But women need to be educated so they can know when interventions are actually necessary. I have only listed some emotional benefits of normal birth, there are innumerable benefits of normal birthing for your health and the health
of your baby.
This is just my small call to women. Take responsibility for your body, your baby, your health, and your birthing. Please please please. Educate yourselves, be mothers of wisdom and light and truth. The decisions you make will change the world.
